It was only a dream.

I gave up on my dream just last week. And this time, it’s official.

I said the same thing a year ago and choked on my own words recently. But this time, I’m decided, I’m sure and I’m not changing my mind.

You see, I’m not old just yet, but then again I’m not getting any younger. Dreams are dreams. Some do come true, Cinderella, but most of them don’t. These dreams I refer to are those that aren’t merely superficial, mind you; this isn’t easy for me. I’m talking about the kind of dreams people make huge sacrifices for. The kind of dream that you’ve had your whole life — immaterial and unquestionable. Huge as these dreams are, they are still “just” wants, as opposed to needs. And that is something that I have to accept now as a not-old-but-not-getting-younger adult.

I’d like to think that I have grown up in some way.

Now I don’t really want to reveal the specifics as to what all this drama is about (I’m also too lazy to explain), so I have come up with an analogy of what had transpired, fit for all ages!:

We need food. We crave for cheesy greasy pizza. We looove cheesy greasy pizza. Pizza is oh-so-good, especially with Cheesy Pops with the Cheesy Cheddar Dip. *drools*… But we can’t always have pizza. Sometimes we have to settle for Sinigang,* may it be for health reasons, or because there is no access to a Pizza Hut. Sinigang is still food, though not quite the food we desperately wanted.

And so, I can live without pizza. I am no Cinderella. And although it took me a while to come to this conclusion, I know I’m no Peter Pan either. (Michael Jackson thinks he is, and look what’s happening to him!) No longer can I ask Santa for a pony and actually expect it for Christmas. And I’m running out of cliches, lame analogies and character references, so it’s time for my conclusion:

I give up on my dream, and willingly so. And I say that without a heavy heart.

Well… I give up just on this one. I have so many more that can still come true. :)

*I love Sinigang! I was only using that as an example! Don’t hate on meeeee! Thanks.