Friday, August 28, 2015

Adulthood: The Switch

Filed under: Pondering the Personal,Waxing Philosophical — jungzx @ 7:00 pm
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Do you remember when you were a Child and you’d watch Adults go about their lives?

Walking around the mall, you see them dressed real nice, accessorized and made up like a proper girl and think to yourself “Fucking cool. I wish I could do that.” Walking around parks, you see couples in love and wonder what that feels like. Playing around with the carts while your parents scour the aisles, you observe them pick out their groceries. Sitting at a cafe with your mom, you see them around you, looking cool, hanging out with their equally cool friends, smoking cigarettes.


Have you ever realized that now… you’re the Adult in this scenario?

Now, from where the kids are watching, you’re the one they think is cool. You’re the one they want to one day maybe grow up to be. You, with your clothes and make-up. You, with your apartment and your groceries. Your dates, your friends, your parties. You, with your cigarettes and alcohol, with the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever. And, you think, if they knew what I know now, they wouldn’t think I was so “cool”. And you wonder, were all the adults you used to watch from afar just like you, pretending?

Now, you’re the one the kids half-watch in wonder, in awe, in curiosity. And you let them. For now, for all their hopes, dreams and ideals, they don’t need to know any better.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

In life, love, clichés.

Filed under: Waxing Philosophical — jungzx @ 9:13 am
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I don’t believe in a god. There is no one to blame, only us. There is no one to thank, maybe just the people around us.

I don’t believe in karma. There are only those lucky enough to get away with the horrible things they do and those unfortunate enough to be truly good people but go the rest of their lives unacknowledged, unrecognized, forgotten. Things don’t happen for a reason. They just do.

What I do believe in (and this is going to sound ridiculously cheesy but I’m trying to be blatantly honest here):

I believe that life is what you make it. I know it’s cliché. But clichés don’t become clichés for nothing.

I believe in love.

I am quite terrified of it, too. At it’s worst, you can literally — yes, I mean literally — feel when your heart has been shattered into countless jagged little pieces you can no longer put together. But at its best, you will find that the rest of the world is a blur and bliss is almost palpable. You’ll look like an idiot smiling to yourself, amidst strangers on the walk home from wherever, at the mere thought, memory or anticipation of the next encounter. You’ll discover a spring in your step that wasn’t there before.

It hurts you. It haunts you. It embraces you, changes you, inspires you.

It can create you. And it can destroy you.

There’s a beauty to this two-faced emotion. And whether you experience it at its harshest, cruelest form or are fortunate enough to stumble upon the side that’s insanely unbelievably wonderful, it’s a beauty that is inescapable. There is no denying its existence.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Thoughts meander like the endless rain on this lazy Friday.

I still call myself a blogger despite not having blogged so much in the past few months.
In these past few months, you see, I was quickly pushed into a new life I’m still just getting used to. I say pushed, but I made the first step. I was dragged along for the rest of it. Not complaining, just… observing. Quietly, probably with a cigarette, in one corner.
I found my niche, then seem to have lost it. I’m looking for it again now.
I’ve made new friends, and lost a few.
My heart was not saved, even; it was broken somewhere along the way. Now, my heart is still scarred, but healed for the most part.

Smiles and frowns and “Ah, whatever!”s made up the past few months of my absence in the blogging world. While I was gone in this world, I was busy making my mark (somewhat, I’d like to think) in the real one.

It probably didn’t work as well, or go as smoothly as I’d hoped, but I chalk it all up to experience. And I’m chalking up some more.

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