Thursday, June 9, 2011

After the sunset, before sunrise

Filed under: Tickle Me Emo — jungzx @ 7:53 pm

I remember all the roads we passed, all the places we’ve had dinner, the cafes and 24 hour McDonald’s we’d sit at and the conversations we had over them that would last ’til sunrise. I remember all the things you pointed out to me, all the things you taught me. I remember the songs you made me listen to, the movies we watched, the movies you made me watch. I remember everything.

I remember everything.

And every time something comes up in memory, it’s like a little dagger, thrust straight through my guts over and over and over again. Never enough to kill me but gets me pretty damn close.

I didn’t know I would love you.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off if we didn’t have our coffee breaks together, then we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other. Maybe I shouldn’t have given you my number so you wouldn’t have gotten in touch with me after I left.

Maybe I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. Then I wouldn’t be going through whatever the fuck this is right now.

This is what heartbreak feels like, right?

It’s not like my heart was never broken before.

This should be routine. I know how to deal with heartbreak.

Or I thought I did but I guess nobody ever does.



1 Comment »

  1. give it time. as stupid as it sounds it’s probably the only thing that will help. i’m sure that it’s really painful now and maybe even after a year (maybe even two, or three or four or whatever) it’ll still hurt like hell when you think about it but the only piece of advice i can give you is just keep plugging away at life. keep getting shit done and keep kicking ass and maybe that little dagger will keep getting smaller and smaller until instead of a piercing pain all it’ll leave behind is a dull ache. we don’t really get to interact anymore but you told me something important at the start of the year when i was going through a really bad time. and don’t worry (AT ALL) nobody really knows how to deal with heartbreak, opening your heart to someone is basically pulling down all the defenses you yourself put up and opening yourself up to get hurt. that’s what love is, trusting someone with your being and hoping that person doesn’t tear you to pieces.

    Comment by tumblrweed — Friday, June 10, 2011 @ 4:00 am | Reply

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