Friday, April 15, 2011


Filed under: Familiar & Familial — jungzx @ 12:26 am
Tags: , , , ,

Once the numbers on the clock hit 1:08, it will be 4 years since my dad died.

I still remember it all like it was yesterday happening right this moment.

I never know what to do. There’s really not much I can do.

I sit. And sit. I stare at nothing, smoke my cigarettes. Maybe have some music on.

But at 1:08AM, there is only me, my thoughts and a moment of silence for him and the things he taught us, whether he knew we were learning or not. A moment to recognize the people my family and I have become without him and celebrating the past we had with him.

I take a moment to remember my dad, trying to remember only the good things, knowing it’s time I stop blaming him for the bulk of my issues. Trying to forgive him.

At 1:08AM though, I allow a little pain — there is always at least a little pain in memory — but no bitterness.

I try not to let so much regret seep in by telling myself there is no point.

It’s been 4 years. It should be easier.

It isn’t, by the way.



  1. A little pain is always good. It really is the only thing that makes us strong. I wish I could give you a hug now, Jung.

    Comment by Clarence — Monday, May 2, 2011 @ 3:53 am | Reply

  2. Hugs! :(

    Comment by Tin Rementilla — Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 6:48 pm | Reply

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