Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Banchetto Diaries: Fake Mexican Accents & German Sausages

Filed under: Strange(r) Encounters — jungzx @ 3:34 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Banchetto is a food fair every Friday night (or Saturday mornings if you want to be technical about it) from midnight til about noon, where they close half of Emerald Ave. in Ortigas to accommodate tents and tents of all kinds of food. Burgers, siopao, shawarma, isaw, crepes, sausages, pasta, pizza… I could go on and on… and onnnn. *drool*

I’m there almost every week. Of course I see all kinds of people.

Here, I share that Banchetto is awesome, not only for its food, but for the people you come across.


One past Friday’s theme seemed to be Sausages As Ordered By Confused Mexican Wannabes

I was waiting in line for the Schublig sausages I’ve been craving for the entire week.

Three bald guys were standing in line right next to me, each with thick silver chains hanging around their necks, and, I think, variations of facial hair, probably to make up for the voluntary lack of head hair. They were talking about the Awesomeness Of Banchetto and the Apparent Yumminess Of The Mexican Food Available At The Stall Right Next To The One We Were In Line At.

These were Filipino men… Who thought they were Mexican. Or Latino. Or something close to that.

“That’s real Mexicano food right thurr, yo!” said one. I kid you not.
“We best be hittin’ up that joint later on.” said the other.
“Don’tchu got that Mexican shiyet where you come from, bro?” said bald guy #1 to the bald guy who was, apparently, really Mexican somehow.
“Hellyeahh!” or something, said the Bald Real-Mexican.

At this point, I forced myself to stop listening. It was becoming too much of an effort to stop myself from laughing in their faces and yell “HALLER DID YOU HIT YOUR HEADS ON THE WAY HERE?!”

I concentrated on the sausages Ate was cooking for the Somekinda-Mexican Bald Guys and me. Yum. Drool. Couldn’t wait to eat.

A few minutes of pretend deafness, I noticed an actual void where the fake Latino accents and machismo used to be. There was only one Bald Guy left. I think I heard someone say “We’re just gon’ get some drinks, meng.”

Remaining Bald Guy comes up closer to the stall and goes, in this hard Tagalog accent — better than mine — “Ate. Asan na po yung Hung-garrrr-yan sow-sej?”

I think I almost facepalmed for real.



  1. At least they weren’t wearing sombreros, haha!

    Comment by qwertrovert — Tuesday, September 15, 2009 @ 3:57 pm | Reply

  2. Oh shit. I am seriously shaking to keep myself from laughing out loud here.

    Comment by Ade — Tuesday, September 15, 2009 @ 4:03 pm | Reply

  3. LOL. And I thought I was the only one who have stories about fake accents that sounds really bad. :p

    Comment by KC — Saturday, September 19, 2009 @ 11:45 am | Reply

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