I’ve had glasses since Kinder 2, believe it or not, the age of 6 or 7, I think. And since Kinder 2, I’ve wanted to get rid of them. I hated them. HATED. THEM.
But after about 20 years of this dependence on optical help, I like to think I’ve come to terms with it. I’m guessing that happened sometime after my angsty early teenage years, since I hated everything then anyway. I’ve accepted my condition…. Or whatever. Acceptance, after all, is the key. (To what? I don’t know. Go ask Oprah.)
Just this weekend though, I had a, um, disagreement with my glasses. Rather, it had a disagreement with me. Maybe it was because I’ve replaced it with contact lenses so often the past month?
So anyway I was at home. Lazing around. Wearing my eyeglasses. I stood up to get a towel from our cabinet, which is in a teeny tiny corner of space, by the way. I went to the cabinet, pulled the door open and BAM! — I overestimated the space I was in and underestimated my own strength — the side of the cabinet door hit the left side of my face. Hard.
Now, for people wearing glasses, things work differently. Our eyewear helps prevent anything from hitting us directly in the eyes. So the stupid cabinet door actually hit my glasses, the left lens, a centimeter from my nose.
You might be thinking it saved me from sure blindness. It didn’t.
That hit made the glasses dig into my face. There is a small screw near the nosepad, the point of which scraped my eyelid.
As a result, I, dear friends, have just stabbed (lacerated, if you want to be technical about it) my own eyelid with my own eyeglasses.
It may not look like much but imagine the panic I felt: Oh my god Am I gonna go blind?!?!?!?! and all that, being so close to my eye and all. Blinking hurt, too. A few days later, I can’t even rub my eyes half-consciously without wincing.
Hitting myself in the face with a cabinet door and stabbing my own eyelid with my own glasses… How many of you can say you’ve done the same?! That’s gotta be somewhere between a facepalm and a LOL.
And for the record, I’m hating on my glasses again for betraying me. And here I thought we were finally friends. :(