Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Oh Your God

Filed under: Familiar & Familial — jungzx @ 11:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

A friend, who I shall refer to as Emo Friend, got kind of drunk, and was talking shit. He was having personal problems and was wallowing in what I would call an emo moment.

He and another friend of mine started talking “god.”

Emo Friend was saying “I’ve been a good person all my life. Why is god doing this to me?” The usual questions about faith. A dialogue between him and Non-Emo Friend continued.

I was smoking my cigarette while silently listening to the two talk it out. If Emo Friend needed his god, who was I to get in the way of that?

She (Non-Emo Friend) knew what I believed in (or what I didn’t believe in, for that matter). He (Emo Friend) didn’t. Yet.

Then in the midst of all the emoness of it all, he turned to me. “Diba?” was all he said. Diba, god should be good to you if you’re a good person, was what he meant. I said,

“I don’t believe in a god, honestly.”

To which he replied with a huff, “Me too! From now on, I won’t believe in God! …What happened? Why do you call yourself an atheist now? How?”

I couldn’t have said anything more than “I don’t know. I just came to a point in my life when I realized that I don’t.”

Another huff, and he says, “Come on. Nothing happened?! You’re not angry? You’re not bitter? Come on.”

I nod. Right, I wasn’t angry or bitter. I shrug. He looks at me in disbelief.

And he says, again, like a kid robbed of Halloween candy, “Okay. Whatever. I don’t believe in god anymore.”

At this point, I’m the one trying to convince him otherwise. I said “Dude. If you don’t believe in a god anymore, then fine, fine. But it’s obvious you still do. You’re angry. At a god. How can you be angry at something you don’t believe in?”

Then, drunk as he was, he resumed talking to Non-Emo Friend about their god.

I “preached” for the first time that night. My views haven’t changed, but I hope Emo Friend’s hasn’t either — not for the wrong reasons. We may have different beliefs, but they’re there for a reason. Our faiths keep us where we ought to be. And for some, gods are the only ones they can cling to for sanity.

Stay strong, Emo Friend. May you have less emo moments as the days come. :)



  1. I won’t go too deep into this because this is a pretty sensitive topic, but being an atheist suddenly because their life went to shit is the worst reason to be one. It’s like the biggest insult to atheism ever.

    These discussions on faith, what an endless.

    Comment by Ade — Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @ 11:54 pm | Reply

  2. obvious nga, your friend is angry because he believes and he’s disappointed in what he believes in. that’s not reason enough to reject it.

    Comment by undercrisis — Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @ 11:54 pm | Reply

  3. In case my comment will be taken the wrong way because my brain is mulched: I meant being an atheist because of the wrong reasons.

    Comment by Ade — Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @ 11:55 pm | Reply

  4. *Note: Friend was babbling drunkenly so, no… I did not post this is defense of my belief. I wrote this in hopes that he still believes what he truly believes. I have a feeling that after he sobered up, he was okay again. I hope. :)

    @Ade & undercrisis: True, true. True beliefs — any beliefs — don’t go away just like that. It takes more than just anger, bitterness and a whole lot of conviction.

    Comment by jungzx — Wednesday, November 5, 2008 @ 12:22 am | Reply

  5. Hmmm.

    It’s an endless conversation, and well, I do agree with Ade. It’s not only an insult to atheism, but an insult to the God that he believes in.

    Anyway, you know me, I can’t actually comment on this without being unbiased.. Nothing against you dear!:)

    Comment by The Lioness — Wednesday, November 5, 2008 @ 1:18 am | Reply

  6. People don’t just decide that they don’t believe in something anymore just like that. Your friend was just so drunk.

    Tsaka I think atheists become what they are spontaneously, not because they decided on it… or that they’re already born that way except that society imposed a certain belief on them as children.

    I really hope your friend’s okay. Seems like he’s in a mess. (We all are anyway. :))

    Comment by anna o — Wednesday, November 5, 2008 @ 9:12 am | Reply

  7. Your Emo Friend was drunk…so he couldn’t think straight. And besides, no one becomes an atheist just because things fucked up. No one becomes an atheist in just a snap.

    Galit lang yun. Heh.

    Comment by KC — Thursday, November 6, 2008 @ 2:12 pm | Reply

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